thirty2flavors

I can't stop loling at ( this )

Not that I'm surprised it exists or anything, that would just be silly. Never underestimate the internet.

Also, I found this after finding a Martha/Edward video. No lie.

Also also, I have a date with katebert, some discounted Easter chocolate and my Doctor Who DVDs on the 14th. It may be the greatest day ever. I am sure she would agree with me except she is in Montreal kissing girls with cherry chapstick.

Posts with substance? What are those? Pft.

...Which I Have Established With Various Sources, Including callmepatsy and bazcat89:

• Dwight Schrute runs a serious, discussion-oriented Harry Potter livejournal community with Edward Cullen.
  
• Generally they disagree on most things, though; Dwight is in it for the plot, but Edward is in it for the shipping.
  
• ...Edward leaves the community after the release of The Half-Blood Prince, because Ron is lewd, foul-mouthed and disrespectful of women, and Ginny is a tart. One is not meant to have so many relations prior to finding one's soulmate.
  
• The Doctor was banned from this community early on due to his tendency to "accidentally" post spoilers.
  
• ...sometimes several books early.
  
• In his anger and defiance of rules, he also got Martha's account banned. Martha was more upset over the fact that he might find her filtered entries in which she complains about his wangsting over Rose.
  
• The Doctor and Edward become fast friends during series 3/New Moon.
  
• ...even though they each think the other is a whiny, emo bitch.
  
• The Master intentionally posts spoilers without cuts. For everything. All the time.
  
• Dwight discredits all of these spoilers as "ridiculous" and "impossible" and "an insult to the writers". When they turn out to be true, a small part of his soul dies.
  
• The Master is this guy. He wears this shirt to the major releases of all the movies involved. M Night Shyamalan is his favourite director.
  
• Most importantly, the Master leaked Midnight Sun.
  

Discuss.

So Kelly (sweetcherrytree and I are on Skype discussing the Twilight/Doctor Who fic I stumbled upon once, which of course led to us discussing the general possibilities inherent in a Doctor Who/Twilight fic and all the hilarity that would ensue. In sum:

• The Doctor would be convinced they're aliens who need to be returned to their planet of origin because of the threat they pose to the life on Earth
  
• The combination of the Jedi mind tricks of the Doctor/Bella/Edward: Edward would, of course, be completely mindblown by reading the Doctor's mind, and the Doctor would be less than impressed with Bella's memories (and she would be greatly disturbed to discover her Love Sheild does not work)
  
• The Doctor and Alice would get in a huge debate over the concept of time and its constant state of flux, as well as her "I can see the future" vs "I CAN SEE ALL THAT EVER WAS/IS/COULD BE,BITCH PLZ"
  
• The Doctor would quite like Carlisle and Esme because they are very ~compassionate~ and that is a big selling point with him, really, but Carlisle and Esme are not sure that they approve of him because of his tendency to commit genocide
  
• Kelly and I were wondering if the Doctor's two hearts make him more delicious and meaty or if he'd be gross because he's not strictly human. Probably the vampires would be convinced there was another human present somewhere and would be incredibly frustrated at their inability to find him/her.
  
• An argument between Edward and the Doctor over a) who is more awesome and b) who has a suckier life
  -i'm such a monster vs. i've committed genocide several times (often with the same species) and destroyed my own planet
  -i've put the life of my one true love in danger vs. i've put the planet in danger
  -i'm so old -- 17 for 100 years to be exact vs. psh, kiddo, over 900, and on my 10th body
  -i've nearly committed suicide since i had to be away from my one true love vs. she was in a parallel universe and i have an obligation to save the universe as the last Time Lord, AND i'd outlive them all anyway
  -at least i'm married to my one true love vs. the first one i gave away to my clone, the other one is locked in a virtual reality
  -people have died because of my child vs. several people (AND ALIENS) have died because of me
  -i have a magical half-vampire baby who is smart and awesome vs. i have a fully grown genetically engineered daughter trained in combat who was born wearing perfect eyeliner
  -the volturi don't really like us vs. my enemies keep coming back to life and trying to destroy me and earth
  -i have a family that i don't deserve vs. i am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life
  -my best friend is my annoying sister vs. my best friend nearly died cause she inherited my brain so i had to wipe her memories and can never see her again
  -my wife calls me a beautiful statue of adonis vs. i have great hair (although it isn't ginger. *jealous, for the first and last time*)
  

Yes this is how we spend our Saturday nights, apparently.

( So I finally finished Breaking Dawn. )

This'll probably be my last post about Twilight for the foreseeable future, so I'll also add that I went to the release party on Friday with Sindie for... I don't know, entertainment? She didn't end up buying the book, either, so we were basically loitering or something. Awesome. Anyway, Chapters somehow (he doesn't even work there) roped Will into being Jacob -- which is hilarious, because he does not resemble Jacob in any way -- and he was working at the refreshments table where they had two bowls of punch (the "Edward" and the "Jacob") so Sindie and I just kind of loitered around there and talked to him for most of the night.

A couple girls asked to take a picture with him, which I found hilarious, and I guess one mom came over and asked Will and the Edward if they'd take a picture with her daughter because omg it's her birthday and it would mean so much to her omg!!! because I guess getting pictures with random Chapters employees is way up on this girl's list of life goals. However by far the best was the girl who refused to be served by Jacob. It was like this:

Will: Kali, can you serve her? She refuses to be served by Jacob.
Me: omfg rly. *laughs* SO I GUESS YOU WANT THE "EDWARD" THEN?
Girl: Emmett!
Will (who, for the record, knows absolutely nothing about Twilight): Emmett sucks.
Girl: OMFG *rips Will's "Jacob" nametag out of his jacket pocket*
Will/Kali/Everyone: ......
Kali: ..........BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Girl: *suddenly realizes she just acted like a fucking psycho and has the deceny to be completely mortified* Oh my god, sorry, I don't know why I did that. *hands back nametag*
Will: ...Er.
Kali: hahahahahahaha

( anyway I will round this off with some photos. )

Title: the ghosts that broke my heart before I met you
Rating: PG
Characters, pairings & fandoms: Jacob/Bella, Edward/Bella (Twilight), Remus/Tonks, Sirius (Harry Potter), Jim/Karen, Jim/Pam (The Office), Martha/Doctor, Doctor/Rose (Doctor Who)
Length 480. I am lame.
Notes of which there are many: Okay first off, this is the first thing I've written that wasn't the result of a meme in way too long. Secondly, this is my first time trying my hand at The Office or Doctor Who, and only my second time with Twilight, and I feel weirdly self-conscious and insecure in a way I never do with writing. Ha ha. Also, I'm going to go ahead and say this is mostly for anythingbutgrey because a) I'm pretty sure she wrote a multi-fandom fic a while ago and that's what sort of gave me the idea to try this, b) crazy anons keep harassing her, c) she always names her fics after song lyrics or something and I feel like I'm stealing it from her and d) I never actually wrote her anything for her birthday like I said I would, so here. OOPS MONTHS LATE, SORRY.

Title comes from 'Ghosts' by Laura Marling, which I uploaded and suggest you listen to because a) it's pretty and b) it was what gave me the idea.

( read a written warning saying 'i'm still mourning' )

Haven't made a public/fandomy post in a while so here goes!

Has anyone ever watched that show "The Moment of Truth"? I just saw about ten minutes of it and I can't get my head around how stupid it is. For those who are unaware, here's what I understand the premise is: someone agrees to answer X number of obscenely personal questions while connected to a lie detector. The show then "randomly" selects 1/2X of those questions to ask them on air. If they answer everything honestly (and basically don't chicken out by refusing to answer or lying) they get half a mill. Questions include "have you cheated on your current girlfriend?" and other life-shattering inquiries. I just... I don't get it. Okay, so you could win half a million (before taxes) -- but you also potentially destroy all your interpersonal relationships. Why? Why? And of course the audience boos angrily whenever someone answers "yes" to a bad question, and of course there's a woman who goes "THAT ANSWER IS ... [insert unneccessarily long pause for dramatics].... TRUE..." and of course the show picks all the questions where the answer was embarassing.

Did I mention I hate reality TV and game shows?

Except The Mole. Fuck yes, the Mole was so awesome.

What else? For anyone who's seen Hairspray or had to listen to the credits music constantly for five months and watches Doctor Who: this is so comically appropriate.

Also the first chapter of Breaking Dawn is failtastic. All I want from Breaking Dawn now is for Jacob and Tanya to hook up and be totally awesome, leaving Edward and Bella to wallow in their failure marital bliss. And lawl, northern Canada. Sup Jake?

Whatever muse I once had has apparently died a violent death. It's like pulling teeth to write five coherent sentences, I swear. It's basically to the point I don't even want to write. I don't know, but it sucks. I also fail at writing commitments because of it -- I didn't finish anythingbutgrey's birthday fic on time, I've owed pirate_smile a letter for like ninety years, and I only just finished the letter I've owed latine for one hundred years. Not to mention Silly Love Songs is rolling in a pit of failure, haha.

I also mean to write a Harry/Hermione fic for afterthree's "someting unexpected" challenge, because coming from me there's nothing more unexpected than an uncanon shippy fic about the Trio, wtf.

Anyway, in the spirit of attempting to kick myself into gear, here's a meme:

Reply with a character or pairing i'm familiar with and i'll write a few sentences of fic.

Note the "few sentence" part; I promise nothing complete or whole in any form, I just kinda wanna... force myself to write stuff. Yeaah. And if you happen to give me a Twilight pairing, please note that I have never, ever written Twilight before because that would mean I'd have to actually put thought into Smeyer's characters.

So the UR.org Christmas Fic Exchange posted its reveals, which means I have the liberty to shamelessly pimp what I wrote... lirl.

Title: Thirteen Steps to the End of the World
Rating: PG-13
Characters & Ships: James/Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter
Prompt: "The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire." (for Satirise at UR.org).
Summary: Thirteen steps to the end of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs.
Excerpt: “Oh, just the way the lot of you – you’re very – I don’t know – exclusive. You’re all four in your own little world and while most of the time I’m convinced it’s a world of utter chaos and madness and stupidity, at times it seems like a much better alternative to a world of war and doom and gloom.”

Huzzah! And kudos to christycorr for actually putting this gigantic migraine together.

ETA - ( This is old news in the Twilight fandom, but this macro will always be hilarious. )