Important Things

[thirty2flavors]

...Which I Have Established With Various Sources, Including callmepatsy and bazcat89:

• Dwight Schrute runs a serious, discussion-oriented Harry Potter livejournal community with Edward Cullen.
  
• Generally they disagree on most things, though; Dwight is in it for the plot, but Edward is in it for the shipping.
  
• ...Edward leaves the community after the release of The Half-Blood Prince, because Ron is lewd, foul-mouthed and disrespectful of women, and Ginny is a tart. One is not meant to have so many relations prior to finding one's soulmate.
  
• The Doctor was banned from this community early on due to his tendency to "accidentally" post spoilers.
  
• ...sometimes several books early.
  
• In his anger and defiance of rules, he also got Martha's account banned. Martha was more upset over the fact that he might find her filtered entries in which she complains about his wangsting over Rose.
  
• The Doctor and Edward become fast friends during series 3/New Moon.
  
• ...even though they each think the other is a whiny, emo bitch.
  
• The Master intentionally posts spoilers without cuts. For everything. All the time.
  
• Dwight discredits all of these spoilers as "ridiculous" and "impossible" and "an insult to the writers". When they turn out to be true, a small part of his soul dies.
  
• The Master is this guy. He wears this shirt to the major releases of all the movies involved. M Night Shyamalan is his favourite director.
  
• Most importantly, the Master leaked Midnight Sun.
  

Discuss.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

Omg yes, he totally hacked lj to have the highest number of icons possible, and every single one of them is Rose-related

[bazcat89.livejournal.com]

There are numerous artsy close-ups of roses, some fancy ones with things like ~love~ written in swirly letters, quite a few Beauty/Beast ones, a few of Rose Weasley, some of Rose from Titanic, and then some of those font ones that say stuff like "Rose: a common flower that blooms in a variety of colors...."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

YES. There's also all these famous quote ones, like the "rose by any other name" and (his favourite), "God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.”

[bazcat89.livejournal.com]

And he has numerous versions of those quotes with different fonts and backgrounds.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

If Edward types in all lowercase, do you think the Doctor is like a Runi-style grammar nazi?

[bazcat89.livejournal.com]

No, Dwight, is the grammar nazi.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

They would argue grammar like American Genius Kid and Ten.

[bazcat89.livejournal.com]

Yes, Dwight and Ten would spend hours arguing over whether or not a comma was appropriate. And the Master will occasionally spam them with maros.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

The Doctor and Dwight argue for like, days, and then they unite forces to bitch out the Master, who just keeps spamming macros, and then Romana comes in and proves them both wrong on a technicality.

[bazcat89.livejournal.com]

And the Master still has a crush on her and keeps trying to get her to friend him back. But she refuses.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

OMFG he's just like this girl from my elementary school who friends you over adn over on Facebook untiil you accept

he comments on all her public posts so eventually she just friends locks everything.

[bazcat89.livejournal.com]

So then he tries to get her to friend him under his sockpuppets with IP cloaking, but she knows. Because she is Romana.

[firstlightofeos.livejournal.com]

Yes, Dwight's the Grammar Nazi, but I like to think that he's much worse than I am—and doesn't explain why things are wrong.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

This is true, Dwight would just be haughty in his corrections. He would also leave entirely unhelpful (if blatantly honest) flames on just about every fanfic he reads, either regarding characterisation, insignificant canon details or style in general.

[firstlightofeos.livejournal.com]

Oh, he'd totally be the biggest canon Nazi ever. *grins*

Can you imagine Dwight on the wiki?

OH MY GOD DWIGHT HAS A HARRY POTTER WIKI. AND THE MASTER AND THE DOCTOR KEEP POSTING SPOILERS ON IT AND DWIGHT KEEPS BLOCKING THEM AND DELETING THEIR UPDATES AND THEN BLOCKS EVERYONE WHO'S NOT HIM BECAUSE ALL THE N00BS KEEP POSTING THINGS LIKE "JAMES WAS A SEEKER," AND HE'D BE ALL TOTALLY, "JAMES WAS A CHASER STFU BLOCKED."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

YES.

Dwight regards interview canon as FACT and often goes around flaming people who label their fic as "EWE" or who put Draco's wife's name down as "Astoria". He also adheres strictly to the Black Family Tree, despite the implied prepubescent pregnancy.

He was one of those Ron-is-Dumbledore or Crookshanks-is-Regulus people, and he staunchly supports it until DH is released.

[firstlightofeos.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes he does. He is also convinced that Dorea Potter is James Potter's mother, and shuts everyone who disagrees down. He also doesn't read AU on principle but just flames all fics with "AU" in the summary.

He also reports all songfics to website moderators for copyright violations because he is a DEPUTY SHERIFF and it's HIS DUTY.

...Dwight is totally the Masked Reviewer omg.

*laughs* Yes, yes he was. He also secretly fangirls Umbridge and wants to marry her. He tells Angela he wishes she had a cat Patronus and Angela just gives him, a "Wtf is wrong with you?/Why the fuck am I sleeping with you?" look.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thirty2flavors/]

Definitely. He's also strongly against any non-canon pairings (not that he reads a lot of shipfic, anyway) and vehemently against slash. Especially Harry/Draco or Remus/Sirius.

HE IS DEFINITELY THE MASKED REVIEWER OMG IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER

[bazcat89.livejournal.com]

He just sneers and turns back to Second Life.