fic: nothing gold
Oct. 12th, 2008 04:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Title: Nothing Gold
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose and Mickey, with mentions of Sarah Jane and Reinette
Spoilers?: Not for anything beyond "The Girl in the Fireplace"
Prompt: "Autumn" at the
time_and_chips "Seasons Change" ficathon.
Summary: She can spend the rest of her life with him, but he can't spend the rest of his with her. (Set during Season 2, shortly after "The Girl in the Fireplace".)
Excerpt: Poetically speaking it was a sick but accurate allegory, and the letter that lay tucked into his breast pocket seemed impossibly heavy. Minutes for him, decades for her. Dead and gone in the blink of an eye.
Author's Notes: The poem alluded to in the title and in the fic is Robert Frost's Nothing Gold Can Stay.
They chose the planet of Maenestrehla for three reasons.
The first reason was that the Doctor was loathe to take them anywhere that might happen to have time windows opening into any portion of eighteenth century Europe, and as the people of Maenestrehla rarely expressed interest in any planet other than their own, it seemed like a safe bet.
The second reason was the absolutely spectacular display of colour that occurred during Maenestrehlan autumn. Situated on a hill, its capital city looked down on valleys on blues and purples, rock patches of pale pink mingled with spots of deep fuchsia and rivers of pale yellow.
The third reason was that Maenestrehla happened to sell ice cream of every imaginable flavour, and it was this reason that sold the idea to Mickey and Rose.
Typical.
“It’s like Harry Potter. Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans!” the Doctor had told them eagerly, only to learn neither Mickey nor Rose had ever expressed any interest in the boy wizard. His faith in them took another blow when Mickey, presented with a virtually comprehensive list of flavours – a list including everything from mint to foie gras to alien fruits that no twenty-first century human had ever tasted before – chose vanilla.
“Vanilla?” the Doctor had spluttered indignantly. “I bring you to a planet where you can have any flavour of ice cream imaginable and you pick vanilla?”
“It’s good!” Mickey had stubbornly protested. “Besides, most of these flavours shouldn’t even exist – who wants ham ice cream?”
Committed to proving a point, the Doctor had proceeded to order the ham-flavoured ice cream, and when he happened to drop the cone a minute later, it was tragic and entirely accidental and not, as Mickey seemed to believe, “on purpose”.
The two were ahead of him now, walking the winding path that overlooked the valley, lost in gossip about people the Doctor didn’t know. He trailed behind, hands in his pockets, watching and listening.
Shareen had a new boyfriend, a bloke named Daniel that she’d met at a bar. Someone named Will had unwisely quit his job in order to “make it” with his band. Amanda had left her boyfriend to be with another girl named Amanda. Sam was unemployed, Mike just bought a car, and Marla might be pregnant.
It was disturbingly like listening to the summary of a soap opera, the Doctor thought, and it was another flashing neon sign of a reminder that Rose was very young and very human.
Like he needed any more of those.
The last few days had been a non-stop deluge of reminders, really. First there was Sarah Jane, and though it had been wonderful to see her again, save the day with her again, run with her again, it had come at a price. It poked a hole in the carefully constructed bubble of ignorance he’d always chosen to live in with regards to his companions and his argument with Rose seemed to be stuck on loop in his mind.
(Humans decay.)
She was getting older, his Sarah Jane.
And then came Reinette.
Reinette had been a fascinating piece to a fascinating problem, and beyond that she’d been a bright and beautiful girl who dealt bravely with being thrust into a situation she was never meant to experience. She was captivating, that girl in the fireplace, and her death – her natural, normal human death – had shaken him to the core.
Hours. Her entire life had flickered past him in hours; she’d grown and aged and died before he’d changed his tie. Poetically speaking it was a sick but accurate allegory, and the letter that lay tucked into his breast pocket seemed impossibly heavy. Minutes for him, decades for her. Dead and gone in the blink of an eye.
(You wither and you die.)
Ahead of him, Rose laughed. She tossed her head back as she did so, her hair a golden-orange under the influence of the Manestrehlan sunset, and the sensation of dread that had shadowed the Doctor since the Krillitanes reared up, tugging at his hearts and settling itself in his stomach. She was growing up, Rose Tyler, fantastic as ever and more brilliant each day and yet –
He sighed, turning his gaze on the vast slope of blue to his left. It was beautiful, to put it plainly, a final dazzling show before the winter set in, cold and harsh and abrupt. Winter here lasted nearly the length of a full year on Earth, thick sheets of ice and snow burying the city and the valley below. For the Maenestrehlans this was ideal – they adored the cold, flourished in it – but for most visiting creatures it was uninhabitable. Their economy, so dependent on tourism, relied on the autumnal display of colour that lasted only three weeks of every Maenestrehlan year.
It worked. Thousands flocked to see the majesty of Maenestrehla in its fall, eating outrageously flavoured ice cream and sending postcards of blue forests. Thousands flocked to watch the leaves die.
Such splendour in decay.
“Oi, slow poke, you coming or not?”
Rose peered over her shoulder at him, a grin on her face and an orange drop of ice cream on her chin. Seeming to feel it, she stuck out her tongue to lick away the offending splotch, and the Doctor was fairly certain his left heart stumbled in its rhythm as she did so.
Looking at her, he tried not to think of the lines that had been added to Sarah Jane’s face – of Reinette, who'd aged and died while his back was turned – of the inevitable day when Rose’s bottle blonde would be replaced with gray. He tried not to think of each second spent with her as the wasting of some precious finite resource, some reservoir that, once dry, would leave him lost and damaged and so very lonely.
(Imagine watching that happen –)
Instead, he tried to focus on the present, on the grin she was giving him, the lively sparkle in her eyes, the pink tinge of her cheek, the orange hue of her lips from the ice cream, the golden sheen of her hair in the sunset, the way she could make his hearts do things they shouldn’t merely by licking her cheek –
(To someone that you –)
“Well?” she called, eyebrows raised.
Nothing gold, he thought grimly, even as he put on a manic grin and bounded forward, wedging himself between the two and looping his arms around their shoulders.
“Sorry. Lost in thought. Consequence of being very clever.” He beamed at the both of them, pretended not to notice when Mickey rolled his eyes, then released their shoulders to clap his hands together. “Now! How do you two feel about a beach?”
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose and Mickey, with mentions of Sarah Jane and Reinette
Spoilers?: Not for anything beyond "The Girl in the Fireplace"
Prompt: "Autumn" at the
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
Summary: She can spend the rest of her life with him, but he can't spend the rest of his with her. (Set during Season 2, shortly after "The Girl in the Fireplace".)
Excerpt: Poetically speaking it was a sick but accurate allegory, and the letter that lay tucked into his breast pocket seemed impossibly heavy. Minutes for him, decades for her. Dead and gone in the blink of an eye.
Author's Notes: The poem alluded to in the title and in the fic is Robert Frost's Nothing Gold Can Stay.
They chose the planet of Maenestrehla for three reasons.
The first reason was that the Doctor was loathe to take them anywhere that might happen to have time windows opening into any portion of eighteenth century Europe, and as the people of Maenestrehla rarely expressed interest in any planet other than their own, it seemed like a safe bet.
The second reason was the absolutely spectacular display of colour that occurred during Maenestrehlan autumn. Situated on a hill, its capital city looked down on valleys on blues and purples, rock patches of pale pink mingled with spots of deep fuchsia and rivers of pale yellow.
The third reason was that Maenestrehla happened to sell ice cream of every imaginable flavour, and it was this reason that sold the idea to Mickey and Rose.
Typical.
“It’s like Harry Potter. Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans!” the Doctor had told them eagerly, only to learn neither Mickey nor Rose had ever expressed any interest in the boy wizard. His faith in them took another blow when Mickey, presented with a virtually comprehensive list of flavours – a list including everything from mint to foie gras to alien fruits that no twenty-first century human had ever tasted before – chose vanilla.
“Vanilla?” the Doctor had spluttered indignantly. “I bring you to a planet where you can have any flavour of ice cream imaginable and you pick vanilla?”
“It’s good!” Mickey had stubbornly protested. “Besides, most of these flavours shouldn’t even exist – who wants ham ice cream?”
Committed to proving a point, the Doctor had proceeded to order the ham-flavoured ice cream, and when he happened to drop the cone a minute later, it was tragic and entirely accidental and not, as Mickey seemed to believe, “on purpose”.
The two were ahead of him now, walking the winding path that overlooked the valley, lost in gossip about people the Doctor didn’t know. He trailed behind, hands in his pockets, watching and listening.
Shareen had a new boyfriend, a bloke named Daniel that she’d met at a bar. Someone named Will had unwisely quit his job in order to “make it” with his band. Amanda had left her boyfriend to be with another girl named Amanda. Sam was unemployed, Mike just bought a car, and Marla might be pregnant.
It was disturbingly like listening to the summary of a soap opera, the Doctor thought, and it was another flashing neon sign of a reminder that Rose was very young and very human.
Like he needed any more of those.
The last few days had been a non-stop deluge of reminders, really. First there was Sarah Jane, and though it had been wonderful to see her again, save the day with her again, run with her again, it had come at a price. It poked a hole in the carefully constructed bubble of ignorance he’d always chosen to live in with regards to his companions and his argument with Rose seemed to be stuck on loop in his mind.
(Humans decay.)
She was getting older, his Sarah Jane.
And then came Reinette.
Reinette had been a fascinating piece to a fascinating problem, and beyond that she’d been a bright and beautiful girl who dealt bravely with being thrust into a situation she was never meant to experience. She was captivating, that girl in the fireplace, and her death – her natural, normal human death – had shaken him to the core.
Hours. Her entire life had flickered past him in hours; she’d grown and aged and died before he’d changed his tie. Poetically speaking it was a sick but accurate allegory, and the letter that lay tucked into his breast pocket seemed impossibly heavy. Minutes for him, decades for her. Dead and gone in the blink of an eye.
(You wither and you die.)
Ahead of him, Rose laughed. She tossed her head back as she did so, her hair a golden-orange under the influence of the Manestrehlan sunset, and the sensation of dread that had shadowed the Doctor since the Krillitanes reared up, tugging at his hearts and settling itself in his stomach. She was growing up, Rose Tyler, fantastic as ever and more brilliant each day and yet –
He sighed, turning his gaze on the vast slope of blue to his left. It was beautiful, to put it plainly, a final dazzling show before the winter set in, cold and harsh and abrupt. Winter here lasted nearly the length of a full year on Earth, thick sheets of ice and snow burying the city and the valley below. For the Maenestrehlans this was ideal – they adored the cold, flourished in it – but for most visiting creatures it was uninhabitable. Their economy, so dependent on tourism, relied on the autumnal display of colour that lasted only three weeks of every Maenestrehlan year.
It worked. Thousands flocked to see the majesty of Maenestrehla in its fall, eating outrageously flavoured ice cream and sending postcards of blue forests. Thousands flocked to watch the leaves die.
Such splendour in decay.
“Oi, slow poke, you coming or not?”
Rose peered over her shoulder at him, a grin on her face and an orange drop of ice cream on her chin. Seeming to feel it, she stuck out her tongue to lick away the offending splotch, and the Doctor was fairly certain his left heart stumbled in its rhythm as she did so.
Looking at her, he tried not to think of the lines that had been added to Sarah Jane’s face – of Reinette, who'd aged and died while his back was turned – of the inevitable day when Rose’s bottle blonde would be replaced with gray. He tried not to think of each second spent with her as the wasting of some precious finite resource, some reservoir that, once dry, would leave him lost and damaged and so very lonely.
(Imagine watching that happen –)
Instead, he tried to focus on the present, on the grin she was giving him, the lively sparkle in her eyes, the pink tinge of her cheek, the orange hue of her lips from the ice cream, the golden sheen of her hair in the sunset, the way she could make his hearts do things they shouldn’t merely by licking her cheek –
(To someone that you –)
“Well?” she called, eyebrows raised.
Nothing gold, he thought grimly, even as he put on a manic grin and bounded forward, wedging himself between the two and looping his arms around their shoulders.
“Sorry. Lost in thought. Consequence of being very clever.” He beamed at the both of them, pretended not to notice when Mickey rolled his eyes, then released their shoulders to clap his hands together. “Now! How do you two feel about a beach?”
no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 09:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 09:29 pm (UTC)2) Thank you so much!
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Date: 2008-10-12 09:22 pm (UTC)i have nothing constructive nor glowing to add, you already know what i think
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Date: 2008-10-12 09:29 pm (UTC)AMANDA/AMANDA WHOO.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 09:50 pm (UTC)Loved this:)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 11:25 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2008-10-12 11:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 11:24 pm (UTC)Hee, Bertie Botts! I swear I giggled, even though I am perfectly aware that you're a Potter fan, and that the reference was not only fitting but also highly predictable. And also possibly what gave you part of the ice cream idea in the first place.
Poor Doctor. Reinette really was a perfect metaphor.
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Date: 2008-10-12 11:52 pm (UTC)I couldn't resist! And though I'm not sure it was consciously inspired by Bertie, once I'd typed it I noticed and thought "right, so this is Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" and figured if I had the Doctor draw attention to it then I was excused. Besides if people can have Rose reading Twilight all over the place (AGH) then I can have the Doctor fangirl Harry Potter. Which is canon, anyway.
In the words of Liz, "I guess it really sucks to be an exceptionally brilliant old dude".
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Date: 2008-10-13 12:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 01:17 am (UTC)Oh WOW. this is stunningly beutiful and poetic. I always really hated GitF, but this makes it... make sense I guess. Or at least I think I now get why he acted the way he acted. You put it very powerfully " Her entire life had flickered past him in hours; she’d grown and aged and died before he’d changed his tie."
Yeah. I think that's my only reaction. Wow. Thanks. *memories*
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Date: 2008-10-13 04:11 am (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2008-10-13 01:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 01:39 am (UTC)lol, ham-flavoured indeed. And yeah, beaches really don't work out for them, do they?
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Date: 2008-10-13 01:33 am (UTC)And I loved the ham-flavored ice cream that the Doctor accidentally on purpose dropped, hee!
I thinks we needs a sequel about this beach. ;)
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Date: 2008-10-13 04:27 am (UTC)that inevitable loss that he hasn't yet experienced
I think the constant fear of this was a huge factor with these two (or rather, with him, anyway) and I absolutely adore the argument in School Reunion because of it. I think the inner battle between wanting to be close to people and not wanting to ahve to deal with yet another goodbye is a really interesting (if depressing) one, and since most of the fic I've written in this fandom has been with Handy, I hadn't really gotten a chance to play around with it before. It's fun... y'know, in that sadistic writer-of-angst way.
Initially I imagined this piece a lot shorter and the ham-flavoured ice cream didn't really fit into the somber impression I ahd in my head, but it demanded to be written and I couldn't bear to part with it once I had. I love Mickey/Doctor interaction, lol.
Thank you!
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Date: 2008-10-13 02:01 am (UTC)And I *love* the way you deal with Reinette:
Hours. Her entire life had flickered past him in hours; she’d grown and aged and died before he’d changed his tie. Poetically speaking it was a sick but accurate allegory, and the letter that lay tucked into his breast pocket seemed impossibly heavy. Minutes for him, decades for her. Dead and gone in the blink of an eye.
Because, man, I *so* cannot deal with most of GitF, but I like the way you go about it here. It's almost twisted the way the Doctor sets this up as an excuse to never get close to anyone - not that it stops the pain when he loses them anyway. He just loses the chance at experiencing the joy in the interim. And I could so see him mentally counting down Rose's lifespan in his head for the entirety of her life. So, so screwed up.
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Date: 2008-10-13 04:37 am (UTC)Yes! This! I always figured that was what we were supposed to take away from JE, and that's probably the reaosn I accepted that ending so readily. I just don't think the Doctor would be able to get over that, whether or not there were biological metacrises. (Incidentally this is a good portion of the reason the River plotline makes me go "what?" because even if I remove my shipper glasses and allow that Rose is not the be-all-end-all, I can't quite get past the fact that River does, you know, wither and die. Or she would, if she were not in some virtual reality for all enternity. BUT I DIGRESS.)
As far as Reinette, I tend to have mixed emotions regarding GitF as a whole, and looking at it this way definitely helped sort some of that out and (personally) I think it's more of an interesting take than just "oh she was hot, too bad she died".
It's almost twisted the way the Doctor sets this up as an excuse to never get close to anyone - not that it stops the pain when he loses them anyway. He just loses the chance at experiencing the joy in the interim.
That's what I think is so sad about the situation -- that he must realize it's not accomplishing anything, that in the end it always hurts regardless, but ultimately he can't convince himself it's worth it so he hides behind this "always all right" mantra.
And yes, I definitely think he'd have this sort of mental countdown, too.
Thank you!
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Date: 2008-10-13 08:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 03:28 pm (UTC)And haha, I couldn't resist the icecream gag. LOL And the pink cone is cute until you realize it tastes like ham.
Thank you!
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Date: 2008-10-13 04:52 pm (UTC)JB
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Date: 2008-10-13 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 06:55 pm (UTC)Ahahah!! I loved that line. Oh of course the Doctor can't ever, ever be wrong. :D Funny that the older you are the more childish you behave.
GitF always leave me with mixed feelings, because of the inconsistency with what he says in SR, but the way you write the Doctor's feelings about Reinette is lovely. Exactly how I'd like to think the Doctor sees her; he admires her strength, brilliance and courage.
So much is going on in GitF that I hadn't really considered that in a matter of hours for himself he sees Reinette grow older and he can't do stop her from leaving him. He must been terrified of going through that with Rose. *woe* Good point you've got there ;)
I love how this fic makes you think of Bad Wolf!Rose. He can die for her, save her life oh so many times but he'll never keep her from dying at the end...aw it's heartbreaking.
Guh I always seem to babble on for a bit too long. Next time I'll stick with "Loved it!". xD
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Date: 2008-10-13 07:58 pm (UTC)I can't quite decide how I feel about GitF either, at least when it comes to the zillion mixed signals it sends Rose, so when this interpretation occured to me I was pretty eager to write it and try to make it work, because it makes the whole thing make a lot more sense (to me, anyway). I refuse to believe the Doctor has this omg!insta-love with Reinette, but I do think she would have been fascinating and definitely "companion material" and I think the fact that she dies so quickly is what would really gets to him. I dunno, I always thought he seemed disporportionately upset in GitF (he doesn't even give Rose any of that "always all right" crap! lol) and given how many people seem to die on him on a regular basis, I figure it makes more sense if there's something else going on under there. I think it's more effective if it serves as a reminder of Rose's mortality rather than just "oh man my French fling died, this is tragic!!!!" (Which isn't saying that grief over Reinette isn't part of it, just not all of it.)
I think his inability to prevent her from dying is ultimately the deal-breaker and ultimately why Journey's End, though bittersweet, is still the happiest ending any of them were ever going to get, Time Lord!Ten included; if he doesn't see her die he can just assume she's living happily-ever-after in Pete's World, whereas if she'd stayed he'd have to face that reality eventually, and there's plenty of evidence to suggest that contrary to Dumbledore, Ten really does think death is the worst possible fate.
Aw, don't apologize, I love the babbling!
Thank you!
(no subject)
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Date: 2008-10-14 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-14 02:03 am (UTC)And oh-so-very-angsty, but since it's you, no surprises there.
I'm not 100% sure if I should be flattered or insulted. I have like 3 different fics on the go that I was trying to work out when I wrote this, two of them humour and one of them angsty, so I guess if you count this one it's an even split. But I do maintain that angst is easier to write than comedy. LIRL It's much easier to be poetic about angst than ...y'know, actual happy things.
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Date: 2008-10-14 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-14 03:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-14 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-14 07:47 pm (UTC)Thank you!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-16 03:27 pm (UTC)Committed to proving a point, the Doctor had proceeded to order the ham-flavoured ice cream, and when he happened to drop the cone a minute later, it was tragic and entirely accidental and not, as Mickey seemed to believe, “on purpose”.
LOL. I’m glad you figured out a way to keep this scene, because it is so Ten.
She was getting older, his Sarah Jane.
And then came Reinette.
Ahead of him, Rose laughed. She tossed her head back as she did so, her hair a golden-orange under the influence of the Manestrehlan sunset, and the sensation of dread that had shadowed the Doctor since the Krillitanes reared up, tugging at his hearts and settling itself in his stomach.
I really, really like how you’ve drawn the parallels here amongst Sarah Jane, Reinette and Rose. Even with their episodes immediately following each other, I’d never thought of them in this way before. I’m one of those who will probably never be able to accept GitF as in-character for the Doctor, but this helps. It definitely makes more sense in terms of continuity that part of the reason that Ten was so crushed by Reinette’s death is that it was just another reminder that Rose would suffer the same fate, and soon. I also like how the autumnal imagery reflects both that theme and the poem’s.
He tried not to think of each second spent with her as the wasting of some precious finite resource, some reservoir that, once dry, would leave him lost and damaged and so very lonely.
Aw, Ten. :( He totally does have a mental countdown to Rose’s death. He spends so much time “thinking joy into its coffin,” as Donald Miller would say. *hugs Ten*
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Date: 2008-10-16 08:18 pm (UTC)Pretty much I decided I had to keep that bit becaues I loved it too much. Mickey and the Doctor interacting never fails to amuse me.
The parallel just kind of occured to me on a whim and the more I thought about it the more I liked it, and the more I decided that was how I was going to interpret GitF, lol. I do find it hard to believe he's devastated by Reinette's death solely because in those couple hours they had an ~omg super special~ connection of ~love~, regardless of what Moffat wants me to believe; I think what probably got to him was the most was that her death was so normal and not the result of some ultimately preventable alien invasion or some grand sacrifice to save the world, she just gets old and sick and dies. While I'm sure on one hand it's nice not to feel partially responsible (for once), given the argument with Rose in the previous episode I think it's a pretty safe bet to assume the fact that he couldn't have done anything about it would ultimately be just as bad.
I watched the clip of the School Reunion argument a few times while writing this and the more I watched it the more convinced I became that this is a huge motivator for everything he does, ever. Pretty much everything in the universe seems to conspire to remind him that he'll ultimately lose anyone he gets close to, to the point where he avoids getting close to anyone at all (or at least he tries to, lol), and I think it's such an interesting bit of cowardice for an otherwise recklessly brave character.
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Date: 2009-03-02 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 12:48 am (UTC)Thanks!