thirty2flavors | Important Things

...Which I Have Established With Various Sources, Including

Dwight Schrute runs a serious, discussion-oriented Harry Potter livejournal community with Edward Cullen.
Generally they disagree on most things, though; Dwight is in it for the plot, but Edward is in it for the shipping.
...Edward leaves the community after the release of The Half-Blood Prince, because Ron is lewd, foul-mouthed and disrespectful of women, and Ginny is a tart. One is not meant to have so many relations prior to finding one's soulmate.
The Doctor was banned from this community early on due to his tendency to "accidentally" post spoilers.
...sometimes several books early.
In his anger and defiance of rules, he also got Martha's account banned. Martha was more upset over the fact that he might find her filtered entries in which she complains about his wangsting over Rose.
The Doctor and Edward become fast friends during series 3/New Moon.
...even though they each think the other is a whiny, emo bitch.
The Master intentionally posts spoilers without cuts. For everything. All the time.
Dwight discredits all of these spoilers as "ridiculous" and "impossible" and "an insult to the writers". When they turn out to be true, a small part of his soul dies.
The Master is this guy. He wears this shirt to the major releases of all the movies involved. M Night Shyamalan is his favourite director.
Most importantly, the Master leaked Midnight Sun.

Discuss.

I am glad! ...Particularly that there is someone else famiiliar enough with all of these to understand our particular brand of madness.

*laughs* Of course.

Dwight would totally bitch to Angela about all of this while they were dating, and then she'd totally sleep with him just to make him shut up. And then he'd just keep talking and she'd think, "Drat" (because no, Angela won't swear, it's profane and un-Godly!) and start daydreaming about her cats.

And Jim would side with the Doctor against Dwight in their punctuation discussions. Also, he would fuck with Dwight's grammar handbook (because you know Dwight would pull one out every time he got into a debate), or put it in jello, or something.

He would complain about the difficulty of running a comm all by himself after Edward leaves, but secretly he's relieved because he doesn't want any delusional Harmony shippers on his community.

Oh yes, I was discussing with Liz how the Master would fuck with Dwight by only replying to Dwight's long, thoughtful comments with Macros and .gifs, and how Jim would actually be really impressed by the mysterious internet figure's ability to piss Dwight off using pictures of cats.

Jim obviously emailed Dwight the carpetbook, anyway. Actually, I think I read a fic about that once. I've only read like 3 Office fics, and that was one of them.

(OH MY GOD SO MUCH ICON LOVE.)

Would he really complain, though? This is Dwight, who likes to do shit by himself. He'd just be all like, "Whatever, I didn't need help anyway. Stupid Harmony shipper. I bet he's gay."

*laughs* Yeah, he'll just include a thousand links to canhazcheezburger. And Jim would, like, worship the Master and ask him to teach him his ways. And the Master would help Jim plan pranks on Dwight. OH MY GOD FUTURE DWIGHT MESSAGES TO THE MAX.

Yes, yes he did. And he got it from the Master. *laughs*

He wouldn't complain but he'd make a post about QUITTERS and that kind of thing. Followed by a diatribe about why it's better to do everything yourself.

The Master has rickrolled Dwight like, seventy times, and it works every time.

OMFG, FUTURE DWIGHT. The Master sends Jim one of those "Snape Kills Dumbledore" shirts like a week before HBP comes out.

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